An idle guide to the Alcazaba at Almeria
The Alcazaba of Almeria Is the fortress that towers above the port town of Almeria (no surprise there) in southern Spain.
It was constructed in the tenth century on the orders of the Emir of Códoba, brace yourself; Abd al-Rahmān ibn Muḥammad ibn Abd Allāh ibn Muḥammad ibn Abd al-Raḥmān ibn al-Ḥakam al-Rabdī ibn Hishām ibn Abd al-Raḥmān al-Dākhil
Phew!
Or ʿAbd al-Rahmān III to his mates.
Some impressive military architecture
For more than 500 years ʿAbd al-Rahmān III and his descendants would shout up to the guards on the battlements each day, “Any sign of those pesky Christians?” To which the answer was always “No.”
Now no one cares who’s out there as long as they come to visit.
Until one fateful day in 1489 when the incumbent Emir uttered the now traditional daily question, “Any Cristians?” To which the guard replied, “Funny you should mention them… Aaaarggghhhh!” He then promptly fell off the battlements and landed at the Emir’s feet, his body a veritable pincushion of arrows, each hung with a tiny medal of the Virgin Mary
“Oh dear, and I was just off to my pilates class.” Thought the Emir, or words to that effect. .
Four months later (I think the Muslims ran out of water) the place had the decorators in to do the whole Christian conversion thing.
Muslim or Christian, the same moon shone over both.
Okay. History lesson over. To be honest, I looked all those facts up after our visit. My usual approach to castle tours is to wander around looking at things and guessing what they might be, with occasional attempts to convince Mrs P that some of my wildly inaccurate guesses might be fact true.
Ancient trebuchet park with some unused missiles
I think I may be right about the above “fact” regarding the unused missiles. I should have been a historian. I’d have had great fun with my own unique interpretation of conversions from the past.
Picture the scene; it is 955AD, a Friday evening. A builder is meeting with the Emir.
“I can’t possibly do it before Eid mate. I’m fully booked up.
“Oh, I think you can. And do feel free to call me Your Royal Highness by the way, or I’ll cut your hand off.”
“No chance mate, sorry, your Emir-ness. Err, Royal Highness, I just cant squeeze you in. That last earthquake damaged a lot of roofs. Besides it’s a huge job. S’gonna cost you a fortune”
“I think you are forgetting something.”
“What’s that then?”
“Firstly, you are a slave. My slave. Secondly, if you don’t build it really quickly and for nothing I will kill you and your entire workforce.”
Oh, erm, yeah. I, errr… Sounds reasonable now you put it that way. I’ll get my lads on it straight away your Emir-ness.”
We love a good castle
I’m not sure my rewriting of history would win me any prizes though.
A few hundred years later and these beauties were installed…
…to keep the town planners out.
It is a great castle though. And the real history of the place is very interesting. I thoroughly recommend a visit. Especially since there is no entrance fee. My favourite kind of museum.
They are very moreish these moorish doors
The gate through which we were evicted for telling tourists that the Christians took the fortress after hiding in a wooden horse.
Back down in the town we stumbled across a statue of John Lennon, who apparently composed Strawberry Fields Forever, during a visit to Almeria. Who’d have guessed eh?
Always, no, sometimes think it’s me…
We are heading North next. Up the coast to the bright lights of Costa Blanca. Though we will be more interested in the big rocks, climbing and excellent hiking.
