Slip sliding away

We have had a really marvellous time here in Norway.

A bit like the King’s Royal Standard this pennant style of Norwegian flag is often raised to signify the owners presence.

Though I must confess to some mild disappointment.

It’s not the weather. Certainly not. The weather could not have been better.

Hey there Mr Blue Sky.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s been cold and really windy.

All wrapped up and loads of places to go.

A low of -19°C with winds of around 40 kmph gave a windchill of around -30°C.

But that’s okay. We ain’t here to go windsurfing.

These ‘boots’ were made for walking

It has been colder than usual, but we have been here to show Mrs P all that Norway can deliver by way of winter mountain weather. So, snow, wind, extreme cold are all grist to the mill.

It’s not like it’s been busy either.

Hello, is there anybody out there?

The only way is up

We’ve had some great recommendations for routes too. Including the one in the above photo. Fresh tracks up a route not shown on the map, but just about followable and just about perfect. So I can’t complain there either.

And when it did snow…

Snow, snow, quick, quick, snow

It was the perfect opportunity to teach Mrs P the skills required off the trail in poor visibility.

All well and good.

So, what, dear reader, have I been ‘mildly disappointed’ about? Well, the problem is this…

She went from zero to my own hero

“Not Mrs P!” I hear you exclaim, “How could she EVER be a disappointment!?” I hear you add. With a question mark AND an exclamation mark, so you must really mean it.

Yes, I say. Mrs P has been a mild disappointment.

Baby it’s cold outside

It’s not to say that I’m not proud of her. She has taken to cross country skiing like a duck to water. She has exceeded all my expectations and learned so incredibly quickly. She is amazing. She managed a boot camp like no other, skiing more than 140 km (87 miles) in eleven days. Pretty darned good for a novice.

The problem is this…

How many trails must a Mrs P ski down?

I plan and write my blogs with humour in mind. I look for the funny side of things. In short, I seek out the pratfalls of life to bring a modicum of hilarity to my tales.

But no matter what I threw at her (by way of learning of course)…

Into the valley

… be it; long steep descents on very mixed terrain as in the above photo (that’s her in the distance), or groomed trails, or deep snow in dense trees…

I will follow you if you’ll follow me

… or even long, steep climbs in fresh snow…

Me and my shadow

… she just would not, positively refused to…

FALL OVER!

I mean, how am I supposed to write an amusing blog if she just steadfastly remains upright?

It’s inconsiderate, that’s what it is.

I’d say (camera at the ready) things like, , “follow me down this tricky slope dear.”

“Like this?” She’d say after perfectly executing said manoeuvre.

“Yes.” I’d sigh in return as I slowly put away my unused camera.

The only person to have fallen over, two really funny face plants, was me! And you know what else was disappointing? She’s always too bloomin’ “concerned” to take a photo.

She’s all , “Oh dear! Are you okay? Here, let me help you up.” What’s wrong with, “ Ha, ha, ha. Idiot!” and taking half a dozen photos for later use in the blog?

I am what I am

Send in the clowns

Well, I did my best with very poor material. If you didn’t find this amusing blame Mrs P.

Tomorrow we head back to Oslo. Skiing is over. More about our day in Oslo next time.

Thanks for reading and always love to hear your comments.