I Declare a Miracle - A lighthearted look at a visit to Lourdes
August 20th 2021
I don’t know what to say about Lourdes. Though I’d best think of something or this is going to be one short blog.
A bit of background
In 1858 a 14 year old girl called Bernadette Soubirous claimed that the Virgin Mary had appeared to her in a small cave at the back of a small grotto near her home in Lourdes. Between February and July of that year she had no less than 18 of these visions. Many of her visions occurred whilst in the company of large numbers of other people. Who, incidentally, between them had a total of zero visions.
In Bernadette’s defence, the apparition did tell her to drink from the spring, which wasn’t there. But on digging she did in fact find one. Faced with such evidence who am I to dismiss her story?
Anyway, get ready for 150 years of history in one paragraph.
News got round. Bernadette convinced the locals to build a church on the site. A church was duly built. News got round a bit more and, 150 years later, Bernadette is a Saint. The waters have gained a reputation for their healing qualities. A seriously huge church stands above the grotto where the apparitions occured (it’s actually 3 churches, one on top of the other) and 5 million people visit the site every year.
The exact spot on which the apparitions occured
Directly above the grotto an unassuming little church was built.
That about brings us up-to-date.
The sceptic in me can’t help but wonder how the water here gained its reputation for healing, since Bernadette, who must’ve drunk loads of the stuff, died aged just 35 years old of tuberculosis. Anyway, despite this contradiction many thousands of seriously sick and disabled people make the pilgrimage to Lourdes in the hope of a miracle cure.
To date there have been 69 confirmed miracles at Lourdes (70 if you include the one that happened to me). You can read more about confirmed miracles at Lourdes in a 2021 BBC news story. You can read more about my miracle of Lourdes at the end of this blog.
Pilgrims Queue for holy water whilst a potential miracle goes unnoticed by the rubbish bin.
Holy water bottles Batman! Pilgrims stock up with holy water to last them several years.
Possibly best of all, beyond the grotto and (did I mention ‘HUGE?’) church at Lourdes lies an entire industry dedicated to the art of extracting money from pilgrims and tourists alike. It’s like Blackpool (if you’re English), or Disney Land (if you aren’t). Just outside the grounds of the church lies a veritable maze of streets crammed with shops selling religious artifacts. Crosses, statues of the Virgin Mary, small plastic bottles in the shape of the virgin for you to collect your holy water in (we bought one! A bargain at 80 cents), Virgin Mary tea towels, votive candles ranging in price from small ones for 50 cents to 6 foot monsters costing 500 Euros. You can even buy an official Lourdes Rosary accompanied by a certificate of authenticity.
What if one of these is actually an apparition?
Decisions, decisions. Colossal votive candle for €500, or Mrs P with mask shaped earing for a mere €60?
Disappointingly there were no solar powered nodding Madonnas for sale, or inflatable crucifixes. Definitely a gap in that particular market. That said, you are guaranteed to see at least a dozen nuns, a multitude of monks and more men (or ‘persons’) of the cloth than most people will see in a lifetime. And all before breakfast.
There may have been no clockwork Marys, but there were statues of the Virgin Mary that change colour with the weather. Brilliant!
Mrs P scrounging a light ahead of the candle lit Marian
Not wanting to miss out on the any of the fun, we attended the 9pm candle-lit “Marian Procession”. The Lourdes Sanctuary website lures you in as follows:
Come and sing the Ave Maria of Lourdes every evening at 9.00pm with believers from all over the world. This is one of the most popular events in Lourdes.
It really is a spectacle and, being Catholic, it is a loooooong spectacle. An hour of chanting, candle waving and singing. All whilst a statue of the Virgin Mary is paraded around the crowds. Thousands attend every night. It really is an impressive bit of theatre. Mrs P thought it moving. I thought it photogenic. Though, with that surge of humanity all thinking nice thoughts at the same time, how could it fail to be just a bit special?
Enter the Virgin Mary stage left
Meanwhile, in a grotto not 100 metres away.
Disclaimer:
Other religions are available. From Buddhism to Zoroastrianism, they are all lovely in their own way. That is if you ignore the way that many of them made huge sums of money by preying on people’s fear and ignorance.
Disclaimer - Part 2:
But not all of them. I’m sure your religion was always lovely.
Disclaimer - Part 3:
Except those cheeky Satanists that is.
Our Very Own Miracle:
Perhaps we came to Lourdes in search of a miracle. After all, I am technically one of the sick and infirm. I have both Long Covid and a sore leg. Perhaps we came because we often drive past on our way to the mountains and always mean to take a look. That and we needed to stop to do some washing.
Either way, we witnessed our very own personal miracle. One which is currently being assessed by the team that evaluates miracles at Lourdes. This is a miracle that you will all marvel at. Though you will have to take my word that it really did happen.
This is my story…
It is washing day. A poor husband and wife can be seen cleaning their bed linen in a washing machine at a lowly campsite. At the end of a tiring day of sightseeing, the husband (that’s me in case you didn’t realise) must insert the double duvet inside the now clean duvet cover whilst crouching in the cramped interior of their rude campervan (Gandalf - Keep up!). Now, many of you will know that it is impossible to do this on the first attempt, unless you possess 220cm arms and are more than 250 cm tall (or are standing on the edge of a cliff) and have enough room to swing several cats.
I succeeded in this cramped space. Whilst kneeling down. First time!
I declare a miracle.
The very spot where the latest miracle of Lourdes happened
Next time on the blog. We finally walk up a mountain.
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